Cleared.

Went to USS yesterday, super fun! Spammed the rides till dizzy but forced myself to work today though I was feeling sick and super tired.

Been working for roughly 10 days now and I have to say, it is quite enjoyable. With raminder around, all the guailan jokes helps pass the day and even make it more enjoyable. Got multiple cuts from the penknife today though, probably by the dizziness. Heh.

During work, I had the sudden idea to clear all my questions. I am glad that I did. I expected and got the answers I wanted. Not sure about the other, but I can finally don't care anymore.

Family went back to Malaysia. Again. Argh, used to it.

Probably getting my pay tomorrow, and will be able to buy something I wanted for quite awhile now..

That's all, still tired, gonna rest for today.

Title

Just a little post to write how I feel up to this point, especially with the O'level starting in a few days time - Science practical not withstanding - , I can't even find an appropriate title for this post..

I am not prepared. I am confused. I am worried. I am scared. I have a certain feeling of needing to repeat my O'level. It is not too late. Yet. However, with the little time I have, I won't be able to improve enough to be able to enter my desired course. Sure I have studied, everyday in fact. But still, my confidence is slowly seeping out of my hands. I still have many things left half done, but can't find the motivation to continue.

Not just O'levels, people around me have change so much this past 10 months. Including me. Maybe I am getting paranoid, but I feel that I am missing something. Can't tell what, but I am too scared to ask.

I hate to write this out, but I feel so stressed out. My family ain't helping either. Right now, they are selling our house just for their convenience. Me? They just tell me to put up with whatever room they are going to push me to - It is not like their going to live with me anyways. Besides that, they are even asking me what good I am to them. Clearly I am a burden, but still, I am still a student. What can I do right now?

I try to appear cheerful when I head out, not like people will care if I seemed upset, but I don't want to spoil the mood. People around me are ridiculing me too. I am aware of that. But I don't hate anyone. If I am being disliked upon by others or ignored, it is because of me right? Maybe I done something wrong.. I don't really know.

I have been studying these past few weeks, whenever I feel calm and relaxed. The moment I am going to freak out, I on my computer and play some games to distract myself. To tell the truth, I've been unable to sleep. Constantly tossing around, only to get up and watch some animes.

In 2 days time, the O'level English paper will be due. I am prepared for that, the rest? I don't know and I can't really say.

I hope my father will talk to me properly again, or at least acknowledge me as his son. That is the least he should do since he is constantly demanding me to treat him like my father. As for my mother, I am just going to be careful around her and watch my actions. Hope she'll stay the same.

I want the O'levels to end as soon as possible. I need to get a job too. Right now, I am depending on raminder's father to hand me a part time job, I hope things goes as plan as I don't quite know who to turn to for a job that pays at least $40 a day.

My my, I am writing more than expected! Thank god not much ( if at all ) people read this! Just need somewhere to dump this upon. I am really tired now. Of everything.

As for now, I will continue putting a cheerful face, keep things inside and maybe "guai lan" a person or two. My plans for the future seems rather bleak for now. Maybe It'll brighten up soon.

Yeah, that will be nice wouldn't it?

Just a little scribble here: I still remember the first time I said: " I can wait forever." Am I being foolish? Maybe I should just give up? 
Nah, an oath is an oath. I may probably end up looking like a fool, but whatever. It is not like I am not treated as one right now.
And, if nothing happens, its fine. Ain't expecting anything from this point on anyway right.
Damn, I want to go poly asap..

O'Level sure die.

Just got back prelim results and.. All fail except for English and Chinese. Pathetic right? If I do not improve or work hard, my *insert title name here*.

Anyway, just did English 'O' oral today and I felt quite good, but it was short. Was I okay, bad, or did they just don't want to test me?? Aiya, over means over already. Time to rest.

Two days sick!! =(

Been sick for 2 days already and I'm feeling so so bored and tired.

Anyway, I realized that I have not blog in a very long time so...... Hi! =)

Started studying for my O'levels already (Wow!), so hopefully there would be a drastic change in my results cause I'm gonna need it..

Oh well, time to rest. Gonna force myself to go to school tomorrow no matter how sick I feel.

I'm back!!!

Yay! I'm back in singapore already and finally is able to use the internet.Although only in malaysia I am able to eat awesome meals and have lots of my stuffs there =(.Time for me to start focusing on my Dnt journal for the remainder of my school june holiday and to buck up on my studies for science and math. I hope my O'level score is good, imagine having to repeat another year! Argh!

Homed in my 2nd Home!

Hi! Haven't blogged in awhile, heh. So right now I am in Malaysia and will be staying for a week! Everyday keep playing my electric guitar while my mother (Tries to) teach me piano =). But 2 days already and I feel sososo bored here! But at least there is a lot of food! Have not eaten a proper meal in Singapore and now I can finally gorge myself in lots of food! Sure will have a lot of pimples when I come back, you'll see. Till then I shall continue eating.

Ps: Mook Ching was right, the internet service here sucks and is expensive, I paid 135RM for 5 days worth of                                     internet that has a max speed of 50kb/s.

Pss: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: [TOTAL FATASS]

Psss: Got bad result for report slip.. Sian, 70th position out of 82..

A little awesome guitar solo.

Yiruma - Love hurts. This piece is one of my favourite as the sounds compliments the title and also gives a feeling of lost and pain.